Aziz Ansari, a comedian who starred on NBC’s Parks and Recreation just wrote a book along with sociologist Eric Klinenberg on the subject of love, and why people have such a hard time finding it. The authors point out that since the mid 1940’s the number one way of meeting your match has been through “friends” (or matchmakers). It became increasingly more likely that you would meet your match this way until the late nineties when it suddenly started becoming more likely that you would meet your match online or at a bar or restaurant. Over the last 15-20 years the fastest growing way of meeting people has been online, but thanks to mobile tech disrupting online dating, it has plateaued and more couples started meeting their match again in a restaurant/bar than online. Although their data only goes back to 2010, I have no doubt that in light of recent research on Tinder the likelihood of meeting a match for a relationship online is only diminishing.
There was a brief period of time when more couples met online than in person. Once it went from plausible, to likely that you would meet your match online, suddenly the thought that you could meet your match in a bar/restaurant didn’t seem so unlikely. Heck, if I could meet the love of my life online why couldn’t I meet them in a bar?
Well if you are looking for love in all the wrong places and you are determined to meet your match one way or another I think it all just boils down to economics. If producing a meaningful relationship is the goal, what is the most efficient and effective way of achieving it? In other words, how much capital and labor do you have at your disposal?
I approach love like business, as I should. I am in the business of love. Ultimately we are the CEOs of our love lives. This is not a role that can be relinquished or reassigned as long as we are unwed. So I instruct every one of my clients to write a Mission Statement for their love life. Only after putting the goal into perspective can you assess your likelihood of achieving it. Share the mission with others. Seek objective criticism. If your objective seems feasible and you have determined the mission, the next step is to perform a classic SWOT analysis.
Once you’ve given yourself the stark self-assessment it takes for any business, individual or organization to grow, and you’ve accounted for your resources (capital and labor), you can develop concurrent strategic initiatives that must be followed in order to achieve your goal. I always encourage clients, family, fans and friends to make one of those initiatives enlisting the support of others. After all, its the been the number one way to meet your match for over 70 years.
If you have the means to hire professionals to assist you your chance are better than most. Just be sure to do your homework first and work with a firm that has a proven track record of success like ours. If you can’t afford the services of seasoned search agents like Master Matchmakers, the least you can do is find a friend or family member to venture out in public with so you can seek chemistry on sight. My only recommendation is that no matter where you meet someone get to know them in Love Lab first so you can be sure there is chemistry and trust before going on a date.