Vulgar Vigilantes of Tinder & OkCupid

leadLauren Giordano/The Atlantic

Olga Khazan does a fabulous job of exposing the underbelly of online dating this week in a terrific article for The Atlantic. She writes on the catharsis that women get when they public shame someone who offended them with inappropriate messaging or requests online. Khazan cites a recent PEW Research Study that says of the respondents surveyed who have experienced harassment online, only 6% of them reported that the experience took place while online dating.

Based on what I’ve heard, either harassment in online dating is being grossly underreported in this study, or it is rampant in social networking, the comments section of a website, online gaming, personal email, and online discussion sites such as Reddit.

If someone you just met, or even someone you know crosses the line online, there are things you can do to stop them from contacting you or doing it again. First, take screen shots and document the harassment. Let the person know you’ve done this and that you intend to report them for abuse. Then block them. If they persist by contacting you in other ways you have a full blown criminal complaint on your hands. Posting their misdeeds on your own social media however is not recommended.

Its one thing to be seen as a whistle blower. But when someone who wants to innocently get to know you does a deep dive on Google or Facebook and notices this little exposé of yours, they might think twice about getting close to you. It would be natural for them to assume that you would be quick to share your private life publicly and that would scare anyone.

For this very reason we are building Love Lab®. Our solution to online dating deception and abuse is to create a mobile messaging app that proves the photo, identity and age of interested users. It also performs criminal background checks and allows people to trade disappearing photos and videos to be sure there’s chemistry before they meet.


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To read The Atlantic article, click HERE.

To read the PEW study, click HERE.

When Dating Online, Just Copy And Paste

Christian Rudder is one of the co-founders of OkCupid and to this day he is still crunching numbers and digesting its data. Because of his insider access into the databases of a prolific online dating site, he is able to get his hands on information that very few social scientists can. In his new book, Dataclysm: Who We Are When We Think No One’s Looking, Rudder looks at the mathematics behind online dating and sheds light on some of his most startling conclusions.

New York Magazine was kind enough to reprint a excerpt from his book that looked at the efficacy of messaging. The data shows that shorter messages receive the highest rate of response and that taking your time to compose a message is helpful, but only to a certain point.

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What was most interesting is that the research showed that copying and pasting a message is the most efficient way of communicating because the user will receive the highest proportion of messages replied to as it relates to the time spent composing the original message.

Sitewide, the copy-and-paste strategy underperforms from-scratch messag­ing by about 25 percent, but in terms of effort-in to results-out it always wins: measuring by replies received per unit effort, it’s many times more efficient to just send everyone roughly the same thing than to compose a new message each time.

 

To read the reprinted piece in New York Magazine, click HERE.

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