The Secret to a Satisfying Sex Life

 

Countless relationships end due to infidelity. Men and women cheat because they are insecure, unsatisfied, insatiable or sociopathic. There’s little accounting for the sex addicts or social deviants of the world, but there is a secret to satisfying those with a healthy appetite for sex, and to keeping them committed over the long run.

Because many couples become physically intimate before they’re emotionally intimate, both people usually operate under a lot of assumptions. All too often sex happens prematurely and it sets the stage for discourse before a relationship ever has a chance to really start. Early on its important to share what’s need to know, but it’s equally as important not to share too much information. Communicating your wants and needs is as essential to the success of a relationship as is having mutual respect and trust. And I think you should want, and need to be exclusive if you want, and need mutual respect and trust. 

Once you’ve agreed to only sleep with each other you will instantly increase your level of intimacy both physically and emotionally. Anxiety is relieved and sexual satisfaction is more likely. But just because you’re sexually exclusive doesn’t mean you’re fully committed. Yes, monogamy is necessary to being committed (in most cases) but a commitment involves much, much more. 

When you make a commitment you are promising to be there for someone through thick and thin. You invite greater expectations to be placed on yourself, not just by your partner, but by others as well. When you’re exclusive you’re merely agreeing not to do things behind the other person’s back and to keep things between the two of you. The exclusive stage is the time you take to focus on opening up and becoming totally intimate with someone. Only after you’ve done that should you dive into a commitment. 

By the time you’ve committed to someone you should have discussed your sexual history and shared all the things that you would only share with your lover. If you had been a victim of abuse or someone had cheated on you in the past, your partner ought to know. If you have a communicable STD your partner ought to know. If you have a fetish or fantasy, your partner ought to know. Over time as couples become more committed and more invested in their relationship they must also become more open and more honest with each other. I would be remiss if I said this is easy. To keep the spark alive you must want to keep the spark alive. You must try to keep it alive and your partner must feel like you are trying. Even if you don’t want to entirely play out their fantasy you can pretend to. Sometimes just giving your partner the thought and feeling that you want to fulfill their fantasy is enough to keep them satisfied over the long run. 

If you would like personal support, direction or guidance in your love life please complete our Getting Started form and one of our client coordinators will contact you.

Does Texting Lead To Sex Sooner

This article originally appeared on WorldLifestyle.com.

 

We asked best-selling author and ‘Tough Love’ host Steve Ward why texting is a game-changer when it comes to dating.  This is his explanation of why texting may lead to intimacy sooner than you think:

Texting has taken on an ominous role when it comes to communicating in relationships. Believe it or not though, research suggests it has actually peaked! Not because we’ve grown tired of texting. It’s because people are craving better forms. Instant messaging apps like WhatsApp and SnapChat are taking over and since this mode of communication is here to stay I thought I’d share some best practices with you to avoid dating disasters.

For some people texting allows them to push the envelope because they’re able to say things over text that they might not otherwise be comfortable saying in person. For many people of these people it’s easier to express their thoughts and feelings over text than it is face-to-face.

Texting is an accelerant to emotional and physical intimacy.  When you express your thoughts, feelings and desires over text it actually strengthens the connection between two people just as it would if it were expressed verbally. Mind sharing makes people more comfortable with each other, but it can also make people uncomfortable with each other as well. Studies show, however, that couples who frequently text each other are more likely to jump into bed than those who only use text when necessary.

Texting can be fine and fun, but you might want to consider these few rules of engagement first:

1.    Be as careful about who you sext as you are about who you sleep with. Anyone can take a screenshot and attachments can be saved, altered and shared with or without your permission.

2.    Only sext with protection. If you do feel the need to send a scandalous photo use an ephemeral messaging app that disposes of it automatically.

3.    Address people by their name so they don’t think you’re mass texting.

4.    Never send more than three texts in a row before getting a response.

5.    Don’t text and expect. If you find yourself waiting for a response you will grow anxious and aggravated very quickly.

Texting is flirty and fun but it does not substitute a real face-to-face conversation. Use it sparingly.

Ward will soon launch Love Lab, an agnostic mobile dating app providing credible verification for all dating connections.  According to Ward, the app will be the Swiss army knife for your love life…the peephole to your dating world…the Nev Schulman for your catfishes, Love Lab is the security you need when looking for love.
To receive personal coaching or matchmaking from Steve Ward and his staff please visit http://mastermatchmakers.com/getstarted.

Sex On The First Date

There have been countless surveys and studies published recently that are supposed to provide insights into love, dating and relationship in the digital age. Recently, famed love doctor Helen Fisher concluded that one out of five singles believe it’s either “somewhat appropriate” or “totally appropriate” to have sex on a first date. You may be one of those four-out-of-five today, but that one-out-of-five tomorrow. The same study concluded that 31% of singles say they have developed a relationship from what they thought was just going to be a one-night stand. So it isn’t always a bust.

Jumping into the sack has almost become a societal norm. It’s certainly a far cry from the taboo it used to be. The risks however are very much the same.

Most singles today date like they’re playing Blackjack. Although you might like to play only one hand at a time, many players play as many hands at time as they can. Any experienced Blackjack player will tell you; how others play their hand should have no bearing on how you play yours. So if you play more than one hand at a time, how you play one hand, should have no bearing on how you play the other. That’s why the dating games should be played more like poker…if you’re playing games at all.

Whether or not you win at the poker totally depends on everyone else’s hand; just like sex. Unless you’re a professional poker player you probably can’t tell your odds. Your health and reputation are two of your most valuable assets and ones you should never gamble with. I’ve learned in life that no matter how lucky you’ve been and no matter how many hands you’ve won, you can’t possibly win ‘em all and all it takes is one bad beat to lose everything you’ve worked for.