There is a conversation I have with every client I coach which typically occurs in our second session that is usually focused on “finding” the ideal match. When people meet in person (or even online) it is customary to end your conversation by exchanging phone numbers and planning to speak again soon. In the last 15 years this custom has been upended entirely thanks to text messaging and typing awareness features. NY Times writer Jessica Bennett gives a candid, yet harrowing account of the personal anxiety she suffers from, and is currently being treated for, because of this particular “minutiae” in society today.
…it wasn’t until 2005 that BlackBerry became the first big company to bring the “delivered,” “read” and “so and so is typing” features to mobile with BlackBerry Messenger, or BBM. Two years later, Apple introduced the iPhone with SMS, and four years after that, iMessage, which added a real-time element to otherwise jilted conversations.
That is why I contend that it is crucial for self-actualized singles to convey their preferences for how they would like to communicate with someone of interest. Don’t merely comply. If you prefer to actually speak with a person to arrange a date, as opposed to texting up plans, just say so. Although a text message has become the defacto way of opening a dialogue, it doesn’t have to be the only way of communicating. I suggest to use it sparingly and only as a means of conveying information, not conversing.
To read the entirely NY Times article about texting anxiety, click HERE.
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